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Sexuality

Sexuality is about whether you are attracted to boys or girls. Deciding whether you are straight (like people of the opposite sex), gay (like people of the same sex) or be bi-sexual (like people of both sexes) can take time and we don’t always get it right the first time.

Whatever your sexuality is remember that:

  • Your sexuality is part of you  
  • It is healthy and normal
  • It takes time to know who you are
  • It is perfectly natural to be confused. You’re not alone. Whatever your sexuality is, there are millions of people just like you.

Being straight can have it’s problems but being gay or bi-sexual can be more difficult because not everyone gets it. This is not your fault; it just takes a bit of time for people to understand differences.

These questions can help you think about your own sexuality:

  • When do you know for sure you are gay?
  • When should I tell people about my sexuality?
  • Will I be accepted if I am gay?

When do you know for sure if you are gay?

We all have different feelings when we are growing up. It is difficult to know when those feelings are sexual. You might get really close with friends of the opposite sex and have a strong bond. It does not mean you are gay or straight. You might feel attracted to someone of the same sex. It does not mean you are gay or straight.

You will tell with time. You will know when you know. There is no need to rush it. You don't need to put a name to what you are or let someone else do it. As a young person, you are discovering your sexuality and you might experiment with lots of things.

With time, you might figure out who attracts you most. Don't hide it from yourself. It is part of you. When you are happy and confident that this is what you like, you might like to tell others but this can take time.

Don't worry. There are lots of people to talk to and get advice from if you are not sure about your sexuality. Come in to CHYPS Plus, or checkout www.outzone.org

When should I tell other people about my sexuality?

You might want to tell people because this is part of you. You might not want to tell people as this is something private.

Only you can decide when and if you are ready and who to tell but some tips to think about:

  • Take your time: there is no rush and there might be reasons that you want to wait. Be comfortable with yourself. Before you can tell anyone else, you have to admit it to yourself and get used to it.
  • Be yourself: You don't have to act in a certain way. Being gay is just one part of you. All the other things stay the same and you don't have to change them.
  • Be comfortable with the person you are telling: You don't have to tell everyone. Tell someone you trust and who you feel might get you. It will give you confidence if you can share it with someone who will respect your privacy.
  • Get some support: You might want to know more about what being gay is. When people start asking questions, you can tell them the actual truth. Get some support with this from talking to us.

Will I be accepted if I am gay?

We don't know. Some people will have no problem with your sexuality. Some people will find it difficult to understand. Some people might hate you for it. This is not your fault.

There are so many different reasons that people don't get it. It might be to do with religious beliefs, it might be that people want to fit into a certain group; it might be that people are too scared to look at their own sexuality. Whatever the reason, you are likely to run into prejudice.

It is often the same way for anyone who is different. Years ago, society was prejudice to women. Nowadays, that might not be so bad but you know what it’s like. You can get it in the neck for being a Muslim, for being from a different gang, or for being from E8 rather than E5.

Be prepared for people being ignorant. You need to be confident and have the support to know that you are normal and like every other human being. You are who you are and with time, people will accept it.

Come in and talk to us at CHYPS Plus, you can also find some great answers on Teenage Health Freak.

Related Questions

  • Age: --
    Gender: Female

    Question:

    To whom this may concern, I am writing to you as I am currently going through living difficulties due to my sexuality. My family and majority of my friends do not agree with lifestyle. I also have a child and it’s making things very difficult to cope. I have tried to talk to them but they are to hard headed to understand anything from my point of view. I have had enough I am very depressed and loosing hope. I go through a lot of verbal abuse and have even been attacked.  I'm not sure what to do or who to go or talk to and I was hoping you could help me with my situation.

    If you can help

    Answer:

    I am sorry to hear that you are having difficulties at the moment.

    If you want to attend CHYPS Plus and discuss these  in more detail please attend the clinic between 11-18:00 Mon-Thu or 11-16:00 Friday. We can have a discussion about each problem and devise an action plan together,  when you attend please ask for Peter. We may not be able to help with all of the difficulties but we will know of a service that can and will be able to refer you accordingly.  

    You should never be subjected to verbal or physical abuse and anytime you feel you are in danger you should contact the police for your own safety and that of your child’s.  

    Regards

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